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Children are often spoiled because no one spanks Grandma

There should be a little wine truck that drives around the neighborhood in the evening playing French music and we would hear it and run out with our money and wait for it

My therapist says I lie too much

The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for some people

Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder: How did I ever become this awesome

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